OMG PPL R RACIST!!!

I don't see the big deal. I know that not everyone will agree with me, but I think it's hilarious and a great idea for a fun party. I think that it would be even better if they had a redneck party. I might even do that. And I would invite all my black friends. It's not racist. If they were racist, they wouldn't even be trying to emulate black people. Is it still racist if black people come to the party? How about white people dress like that and black people dress like rednecks? THAT would be a fun party. How could this be offensive? You'd have to boycott the Chapelle Show altogether. I mean, yeah, it's ignorant, but the entire world is ignorant. I understand the comments about it being MLK day and a day for respect and what not. And I do agree with this guy's comment: "But I am not offended by the grills, clothing, or any of the image thing. Now if we talk hair and skin color, then that's US. BUT if we talk gold fronts and fitted caps, that really doesn't offend me." I can see how the blackface is going a little too far, because it's something that is unchangeable, but the image that is portrayed in the media is entirely self-made. You can't complain if you're reinforcing it with your everyday actions.
Besides, it's FUNNY. And it's a PARTY. Where you DRINK and have FUN, not ridicule other races. It was thrown to be an inventive theme, not to intentionally make black people mad. I hate when people are incorrectly considered "racist". What exactly IS racist? I'm not even sure that I know. It shouldn't even be an issue. People are people. Jeez. Live life and have fun.

Glad to see 2006 go ( yes or no )?: No, it was really nice. But I'm looking forward to what the new year has in store.

Age turned in 2006?: 21!!!

Did you change your hair in 2006? Of course, what a silly question. I've worked my way from dark brown to blonde, and a the moment it's a nice strawberry blonde.

The best part of 2006?: Spring break was really nice.

The worst part of 2006?: You know, it's been a really good year. I can't really complain. Maybe during the summer when money was tight. It's frustrating.

Did you make any new friends in 2006? A few.

Any new crushes in 2006? I'm sure there have been a couple.

Do they know?: I don't keep my crushes secret. They're just crushes. You know if I like ya.

Who will you never forget?: Bronta', Britt, Jake, and my new puppy, Billy D!

Who did you wish you did not meet?: No one really. Every person provides a new learning experience.

Did you have a boy/girlfriend in 2006?: Yes, and it's been wonderful.

Did you fall in love in 2006?: Over and over again.

Funniest moment of 2006?: I wish I could pick one out to chronicle, but there are just so many!

The funniest thing you saw on TV in 2006?: Adultswim.

The funniest thing you heard on the radio?: Gucci Mane: My chain, my chain, don't you like my chain, mane? My chain hang to my ding-a-lang.

Did you take any vacations in 2006? Tampa, NYC, Virginia Beach

Any new hobbies of 2006?: Sudoku.

Did you get a new job in 2006?: Nope, still working at the Beef & Beer.

Did you lose a job in 2006?: No.

Did you host a party in 2006: Of course. Bronta's 30th Birthday, Cinco de Mayo, a couple of summer cocktail parties, Halloween Extravaganza, and soon to be NYE to welcome 2007!

Did you get in any car accidents in 2006?: This girl backed in to me at the gas station and put a big dent in my car. But I didn't cause any!

Did you get a ticket in 2006?: No!

Were you ever arrested in 2006?: Nah.

Where did most of your money go? Gas, Food, Greenery, Stuff for the house.

What song will always remind you of 2006?: errybody like zoom zoom. / what they doin? hatin on us!

What do you wish you'd done more of?: Journaling.

What do you wish you'd done less of?: Procrastinating.

Things you were really good at in 2006?: School. And I think I've been a pretty good girlfriend, too.

Thing you wish you were better at in 2006?: Saving money.

In 2006, did you lie to miss a day of work / school?: No. I was pretty good about that.

Did you move in 2006?: No, I'm still in my same wonderful house.

Did you wish on a shooting star in 2006?: You know, I never even saw one. But I wished on a few clocks and yellow lights.

Has your wish come true? It's always positive thinking. So I think that works.

Did you have a sleep over in 2006?: A couple, when people fell asleep at my house. =o)

Did you make-out in public in 2006?: A little, but not much. I've toned down the pda.

What's the ringer on your cellphone?: I don't practice Santeria, I ain't got no crystal ball.

Did you drink too much in 2006?: Not really. I cut back a lot and stayed with it. Of course, I had a few wild nights, but it was probably less than 20 (whereas before it was more like 20 per month).

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.: This year is the first year in a long time that I've been truly happy. I've been in a great relationship, I've lost 35 pounds, I've made all A's in school, and I've enjoyed hangin out with my family more than I have before. I've learned that life can be really good. I'm becoming my own person, and it feels good to be successful at it.

Your favorite commercial of 2006? the geico cavemen.

Did you go to any concerts? Not as many as I usually attend. But The best HAS to be Mozart at the Cannon Center with Kendall!

Something you couldn't leave home without in 2006?: Phone and laptop.

What are you going to do differently in 2007? I am going to try to save up more money, get better at keeping up communications, exercise more, meditate more, spend more time with my family and friends, stay organized, and do more artsy things that will further expand my creative side.

So, in short, this year has been pretty incredible. It has been a year of transformation for me from troubled teenager to successful young adult. I never thought it would happen. I felt so stuck, but I've grown and moved on. I feel good with where I am right now, and I'm excited about 2007 because right now it looks like things are only going to get better.

I just realized that it's been a few months since I've updated.

Everything's still really good. The semester is getting close to done, although I am a few papers and tests away. It shouldn't be that bad. I've enjoyed every single one of my classes this semester.

Bronta and I are still awesome. It's been a year already. I just can't say enough good things about this relationship. He's the one thing that keeps me pulled together and stable. He's invaluable.

Physically, I've been feeling pretty good lately. I'm getting my sexy body back. And I look hot - and even better - I know it!

Our Halloween party was the bomb. There were at least 50 people there. It felt really good to throw such a killer party, and everyone had a great time. So that makes me happy.

Work is going well. I'm working 4 nights a week, closing at least 2 of those nights, and pulling in some straight cash. I'm good at my job, and I even like going to work. We're getting new managers this week, so I hope they can hang. If not, we'll just have to kick some ass.



I hope everybody else is doing as well as I am. Keep warm!

So everything's been going well lately. Bronta' got the airport job. He's doing really well with his bartendin' self. So that takes SO much weight off of my chest. Now I'm not the only one making money on a regular basis!

I went grocery shopping today and came home and made shake 'n' bake chicken! And it was delicious.

School is really good so far. My English class rocks. It's pretty much we sit in a circle and toss around questions. It's cool. Sociology of Gender might be my favorite class right now. I'm totally into all the articles, and class discussion rocks there too. Human Sexuality is really easy, and pretty cool. A couple of annoying people, but it's alright. Abnormal Psychology is gonna be really good too. She's a grad student, but she's doing some cool activities.

Bad thing: I'm taking Biology 1010 online. I bought the 2 10 disc sets online, used. And FUCK if I go to register and the program won't let me because you can't re-use the code. I've already missed the first week's assignments because they hadn't come in yet. And week 2's assignments are due tomorrow. So I think I'm going to have to withdraw because I'm already 2 weeks behind, I have to re-buy all the software, wait for it to come in, and then play catch up. I don't think I can do it. I'm trying to drop it on TigerWeb, but it's being an asshole. The hours chart says it should be working, but it says the server is down. I can't find anything on the school's page about dropping/adding - how or where or when to do it. I would like to try getting into another one, on campus, but is it too late? I DON'T KNOW, THE FUCKING SERVER IS DOWN. Wtf? The neighbors still haven't hooked their wireless back up, so I can't do any online work from home.

Also, I've been working a lot (well, 5 nights a week, with 17 hours in school) and I can already see how this is not gonna be good. Exhausting. All this and sharing a car, trying to figure out how we're both gonna get to our jobs, and me to school, all on time. A lot of confusing overlapping. But as soon as I get this class stuff figured out, I should be feeling better.

But overall, I'm back to good.

I like it when my boy cooks. He's grilling burgers and pork chops today. Yum!

I've been kinda stressed out lately. A few unforseen happenings have left me with about $600 more to make within about a week. I think I can do it, but it's no fun. And for once, this financial stress is affecting my sex life. I've never wanted to not have sex. This sucks. I feel so horrible and bitchy. I told myself I would never do that.

B is waiting on a background check for a job at the airport. As soon as that comes in (hopefully today), he'll be bartending at Varsity. Yay job! Then I won't be the only one around here with an income. So that's good.

My job at the Beef and Beer is really growing on me now. I'm making a steady cashflow, and I'm comfortable with what I'm doing.

I'm excited about starting this semester. I'm taking my 4 hour biology/lab course ONLINE, bitches. And I'm taking Human Sexuality, Gender in Society, and Abnormal Psychology. All classes that I'm really interested in.

I think it's really cool that Kroger has all their Kroger brand 2 litres 5/$3. Which rocks.

I guess that's all I really needed to get out there. Hope everyone has a nice day.

1-800-SUICIDE Hotline Set to Shut Down on Saturday August 12

The nation's largest suicide hotline, 1-800-SUICIDE, is scheduled to go out of service this Saturday, August 12, 2006. There are currently negotiations in progress that may prevent this. However, in the event that these negotiations are not successful, NAMI is issuing this alert to raise public awareness of the alternative for those in need of help.

The alternative number for those in crisis is 1-800-273-TALK. This number will put callers in touch with the federally-funded National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a service that has been in operation since January, 2005. It functions as a central switchboard to immediately connect callers to virtually the same network of certified, local crisis centers accessed by 1-800-SUICIDE. So callers can receive counseling or emergency services, if needed, close to home.

All calls to the 1-800-273-TALK Lifeline are private and confidential. Confidentiality of personal information and of personal disclosures during calls is a high priority for the parties involved in operating the Lifeline.

The federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is working with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and the entire suicide prevention community to ensure that every call for help during a suicide crisis is answered. Some of the measures being put in place include:

Ensuring that the entire suicide-prevention community is working the phones and Internet to make sure that all referring agencies know that 1-800-273-TALK is the number to call for suicide intervention.
Notifying service providers, including directory 411 and 211 operators, that 1-800-SUICIDE is scheduled to go out of service beginning August 12, 2006 and to direct callers to 1-800-273-TALK for help.
Redirecting callers who call 1-800-SUICIDE to call 1-800-273-TALK through a recording.
As a part of this effort, NAMI will participate in a meeting with SAMHSA and its other partner groups on Friday afternoon, August 11, and we will issue an update afterwards if there is additional information to share.

NAMI urges you to help distribute this alert in your community. Together, we can ensure that every call for help is answered.

Thank you,

Michael J. Fitzpatrick, MSW
Executive Director
NAMI

I cleaned my entire room at Mom's house today. I worked from 11am to 6pm cleaning one room. I didn't even stop to eat. I ended up moving some things over here, and throwing a lot of things away. One HUUUUGE bag of clothes for Goodwill. And since Maggie's going to be staying in there, I organized every cosmetic that I had {and that's a LOT}- into different baskets of applicators/brushes, foundations, eye makeup, lipsticks, and one for hair things and one for jewelry. Then I made it to where you open up the closet and there is all the makeup for dressup, all organized, and a little vanity with 2 big mirrors. And even all nail polish/nail care things into pinks & reds, clears, sparkles, neutrals, blues and purples, greens and yellows, and dark burgundy and blacks. Then on the other side of the closet is all of her dress up clothes and shoes. Then I went through every drawer and emptied all of them. Then I organized her art/creative supplies - one tupperware for crayons, etc.. That's way too much organization for me. But, damn that room is clean and cloroxed and spotless. And I have a whole lot of candles and clothes and things that I've been meaning to get over here. Like my gameboy! Bronta's already claiming it.

I guess I'm trying to make use of this extra push I'm having right now. Ha.

Okay, so I rewarded myself with a few beers. And it feels good.

There are sooooo many things I want to do before I start school!

So Kendall burned the Buzz Ballads compilation for me. And I've been sitting on my couch today with my laptop and singing at the top of my lungs. It's awesome. =o)

The car is broked again. It wouldn't start this morning, so we had it towed to the shop. At least I have another vehicle to use while it's in. And I'm off of work today and tomorrow.

For like the last week I've been feeling the huge urge to get wasted. Amazingly fucked up. Drunk off my ass. I've been trying to ignore it, and it's been working mostly as long as I remind myself of the hangovers I'll experience in the morning. But it's SO HARD to not let myself go out and binge. I'm trying to be past that part of my life. I feel so much better physically and more mentally stable when I stay away from alcohol. I can't go out and drink every night like I used to. Fuck, I feel so old, so tame. I was afraid this would happen- as soon as I turn 21, I stop going out and drinking. What a nerd. But I have to remind myself every day that it has to be like this if I don't want to spiral out of control again. It takes so much fucking self control to stay on top of my mood swings. It's a conscious decision every day. I know it has to be done, but it's just not as fun to stay in at night instead of staying at the bar until 3am.

I wonder if I'll have to think like this every day of my life. I wonder when I'll slip up. I wonder how far I will fall. I know it will happen someday and I won't be able to stop it. Because that's how this disease works. I have to talk myself down when I start feeling that energy pulsing and buzzing in my veins. When my palms start tingling. When I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. When I have every thought in the world running in my head, but I can't slow them down enough to make any sense of them. When I feel that I know all the answers to the universe, and that I was sent to spread them to the rest of the world... and I don't even realize that it's crazy to think like that until it passes. It all starts off feeling so good. The electricity inside me, the energy I have. Coming up with new and complex plans that I will never follow through. The feeling that I have a purpose much greater than I could have ever realized until then. Pursuing anything that will result in temporary satisfaction, no matter what the consequences later - excessive spending, binge drinking, sex with strangers, etc.

All of this climbing so high to the top of the mountain only to teeter on the edge and fall off into a black hole, lost, scared, lonely, sad, embarrassed. I don't want to talk about this now, but I'm sure that if you wait around in about a year you can read all about that.

At least I'm finally being able to put words to all of these feelings. I feel a little more validated knowing that I'm not alone out there.

So these commercials have been coming on for a new trendy compilation CD. Strangely enough, I really like pretty much every song on there. Buzz Ballads. How corny. It's like every song I liked throughout middle school and high school. Pretty cool. I'm not going to buy it, of course, but I don't change the channel on the commercial.